A Semi Desperate Plea

So today, I went and found out what my final 3rd job is going to be like. Essentially, I am the teacher for two hours in a one room school house from the old days. The cottage that I am working at is the Emergency Shelter cottage for girls in LA county that can not be placed in a treatment facility right away. One of the only stipulations is that they can not be suicidal or homicidal. So first off I think that these are kids that I have never worked with before, but I am up for the challenge. I thought that I was just going to be going in there and changing the curriculum, but still under someone who knows more about the program. I was told by the Clinical Director that as far as he is concerned for the next two years this is MY program. This is where I start to feel overwhelmed.

I now know what each of my three jobs consist of, but the interesting part is that each of the jobs individually could be a full time 40 hour/week job. And I have the honor of having all three. Yes, I know that I am working with someone for my liaison job, and I am only teaching two periods, and I am only at the college for 2 hours a day, but for those people who have not worked with me at a school before, I must say I am relentless in making my kids lives better, educational and otherwise.

The first thing I noticed at Gillette (the cottage) is that the girls sit facing the wall, absolutely quiet and work on packets. YUCK. As I told my dad earlier, that is all about to change. I didn't go to Southwestern and pay all that money to learn nothing. One of the downfalls is that I don't have very many resources to work with. In the Fall packets there is only english and math and obviously that made me a little upset being a history person, but we only have an outdated history workbook -- to basal texts or text books. I need resources!

So here comes my desperate plea...I need books! Just old books, that are laying around your house. Books that the girls can read, or I can glean educational information from, so they can do something other than sit facing the wall and work on boring, old worksheets. So if you feel that you can donate 1 book/magazine/music etc or 1oo or anything in between, let me know or let my parents know!

That is it for now.
Grace and Peace, and anxiously awaiting books!

Bookworm

That is now my new self proclaimed nickname. I have been here for almost 2 weeks and I have finished 5 books. I think that is a new record for me. While I don't think that this pace will keep up, I do have to say, that I sort of like it. I guess reading every night before bed growing up sank into my bones. It is so gratifying just getting lost in a book and forgetting about everything around you. My latest "conquests" are The Kite Runner and Towing Jehovah. Both of them were recommendations to me and I have to say, they did not disappoint.

The Kite Runner is about a man and his childhood and years in America after emigrating from Afghanistan in the 1980s. While most people know that I am emotional, there were parts of this book that I had tears freely flowing down my cheek. The way that Hosseini (author) takes you drags you into the plot and doesn't let go is an amazing feeling. I would recommend that everyone read this book.

My mom told me about Towing Jehovah because the wife of one of our pastor's is reading it. I went to Barnes and Noble to get the book and it was in the Science Fiction section. I think the category should be between Religious inspiration, Religious Fiction and Science Fiction. The book follows a captain of a merchant ship that has been given the task, by Raphael and Gabriel -- yes the arch angels, to tow the dead body of God to the Arctic for burial. Some might be appalled at some of the different episodes of the book, there were some where I cringed when i read them, but others make you think about what you have learned your whole life. There is one line in the book where an athiest says that God needs to be dead for social justice to work and to that I say, I don't think so, because then I wouldn't be where I am right now and neither would any of our classmates. And yes I know that it is just a book, but that is what I thought at the time. So I would recommend this book also, but beware.

Other than reading, this weekend I traveled to Los Angeles and eventually the Pacific Ocean, but it took so long that I didn't feel like getting out, so maybe I will do that when my parents are here this weekend! I have found that if I am in the car too long here, I start to get this horrible headache (I think it is from the smog). The drive was semi pleasant...a lot of traffic and a lot different than Corpus traffic. I got a little lost and ended up in Beverly Hills, so I drove down Rodeo Dr. I have never seen more fancy cars and stores in my whole life. I would like to go and walk around just so I can say I have done that. What I saw of the beach was beautiful, way different than North Beach or anything on our coast in Corpus. One thing I have noticed in my limited driving is that on the highways there are NO billboards. Just an interesting little tidbit.

I drove past the Staples Center, where the Lakers play and on one of the advertisements said TOOL. For those of you who don't know, TOOL is a rock band that has been around for a long time as far as bands go now a days. I don't know many of there songs, but I really like their lead singer from his other band. I got their new album when it came out in the spring and I was pleasantly surprised. I called Peter and he said that there were still tickets available. Yes I know that I will be going by myself, but this is a chance that I can't pass up. And the ticket wasn't even that expensive (I guess in US-2 standards it was, but oh well), I even got a parking permit, so I won't have to park on the street. So I took some precautions. I am very excited!

Sunday I went to a different church. The one last week, just didn't capture me. Maybe I am just picky, but with churches you have to be picky. The preacher didn't captivate me the whole time, but in the end it was a pretty good sermon. She talked about Tabernacling Faith, not just being a person with faith on Sunday, but taking our faith with us everywhere. I then found out about their outreach programs. They have been a reconciling church since 1993 and a sanctuary church for refugees since about that same time. They also are very involved in some Amnesty International letter writings and post card sendings. They have had Muslims, Methodists a meal and discussion with/between the two religious community since 2001. I think that not only does worship have to captivate your attention, but the church must do outreach that you feel have the same beliefs as yourself or you won't be equally fed. On my action plan that I made during training in New York, I said that I would visit three churches by the end of September so I can weigh my options.

Last week went a little better and I am looking for this week to go a little better. I am looking forward to my parents coming on Saturday and their short visit. There have been several things that I have learned that are different than what I was told, but I am working to self advocate and get them fixed or at least get them to a better place. I went with one of my bosses to help some of the girls register at the public schools in the area. These schools are very upper middle class (at least the majority of what I saw) and these girls that I work with are not. They are already saying that they don't want to go and are not going to fit in. All I can say is that, yes it will be intimidating for awhile, but you will make friends and you will fit in. This is a situation that I never had to face while going to school, I always had those friends who I knew I would see that first day of school. This part of my job is what I am looking forward to the most, at least right now.

Now that I have given you an episode of Reading Rainbow
Butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as highTake a look, it's in a book - Reading Rainbow.I can go anywhere!Friends to know and ways to grow - Reading Rainbow.I can be anything!Take a look, it's in a book - Reading Rainbow.Reading Rainbow, Reading Rainbow, Reading Rainbow, Reading Rainbow!
and an update on my life, grace and peace for now!

Overwhelmed

While I am still looking for those little joys, many times this week I have found myself a bit overwhelmed. I imagine many of my friends are experiencing this right now with new jobs and starting grad school. I went to my first day of work at the Joan Macy School where I will be most of the day. I met the principal and the office staff, yet I found out that none of the teachers will be here until next Thursday (I was a little upset at that) and that I would not have clearance until at the earliest this Friday, so I could not go with the head liaison to help register the girls who are attending public school. I learned that I would be the assistant to the Public School Liaison and probably only do that duty when she didn't have time.
I also learned that I would be teaching Applied Math. To those of you who don't know, I received my degree in Social Studies Composite which means I can teach 8th-12th grade social sciences classes. The closest class in that category to math is economics, which I took at a community college and really learned nothing from the class. To my dismay, it was really teach this class or don't teach anything. I also might have to teach a PE class. Luckily, one of my dearest friends is teaching math for the first year and is also a coach, so I have a great resource.

This leads me to advocate for something else...teaching! This is why you must want to be a teacher to teach. As much as I really don't want to teach math, I know the girls that will be in the class need these skills. Also, I was told that these are probably the hardest girls to "reach". Well the thing is all kids want to learn, but as the teacher I must figure out the best way to get them to see that learning is fun...even if it is math. But even more important than the previous point, is certification! You can't just teach something that seems fun, or you liked when you were in school. There really is an art to the different way that the different teachers are taught. I am so much better at teaching history that teaching spanish or math. This is because I was certified and taught to teach history. I know the history strategies, not other strategies. So for you who are reading this and feel that teaching is calling your name, or you just don't know what to do with your life, and you always thought that teaching might be cool. Think about it before you do it. Teaching is not just something that you do for yourself. You are not just sitting behind a desk making decisions. I do realize that people who sit behind desks make decisions that affect many people. Teaching affects the children. To be an effective teacher, I believe you must have gone through an effective program. Not one that just throws you into a classroom, but guides you through school and gives you the confidence and tools to have your own classroom. And here is the shameless plug -- I know I got that training at Southwestern!!
As the week went on, I learned more and more about the school. There is some part of me that thinks that many of the people I work with are just sitting and watching to see what mistakes I make. Some of them have voiced their opinion on such a young person teaching these girls. All I have to say is this is one of my passions, and I know I will not fail!
Today I made the pretest for the girls to see how far they know and understand. Talk about overwhelming... This class is essentially 4h to 6th grade math. I couldn't even remember how to do somethings on the premade test. That was a scary feeling, how am I supposed to teach these girls, if I don't even remember how to do it. That is the thing with history, you just read and make sure you know the facts and some fun tidbits and say "let's look that up" if you don't know an answer to a question. But once again I find myself saying everything will be good. It is getting better. Thank goodness it is almost the weekend so I can gather all my thoughts about this past week and get ready for the week to come!

Finding the Little Joys in Life

I have been planning on writing this post for awhile, so now I am finally writing it. I have figured that you must find the little joys to get you through everything. To name a few...my accountability partner called a few days ago and we talked for awhile. For those who don't know what an accountability partner is, it is one of my us-2 classmates, that I can talk to whenever I just need someone to talk to, who knows what I am going through at this moment in my life. It was great just listening how he is doing and his adventures. It was also very comforting talking to someone that was having the same feelings about the whole program and being on our own for the first time, so far away from home. Later in the week, another classmate called! Again it was good just to hear a voice that has that same uneasy tone about our upcoming two years. As I listened to her, I realized that some of my troubles here, did not match up to what has happened to her, so for that I am grateful, but in the end we chalk it up to having the experience.
This weekend I went to Barnes and Noble, just to find a book to read that wasn't too heavy and need lots of thought, plus I needed a new crossword puzzlebook. I was wandering through the mystery section as always, and to my amazement and excitement, I found the next book in a series that I haven't been able to find for about a year. And of course, to those who know me really well, merited a call to my dad, so I could share my glee. Then I found another series that had a new book. Just finding those two books, made everything better. I then went and bought The Sound of Music -- I think it is my all-time favorite movie. It is now Thursday night, and I have read both books, and watched the DVD and most of the special features. I realized the little joy as I was reading the second book. You must find things that just make you grin from ear to ear. And I know that reading books might not do it for everyone, but just find the thing that does, and you will feel better.
I got another little joy this morning when I looked at the news on the internet. The FDA approved the Plan B Pill. I know that some people might not approve of this, but I think it is great. And I sort of feel like I had a part in it. While I was in New York, some of us went to a concert at Central Park. We sat outside the gates and still got to enjoy the concert, but for FREE! While we were waiting for the main act to start, two girls came up to us and asked if we would sign a petition for letting Plan B be sold at the Pharmacy. So of course we signed it. Now I can say I advocated for something that I believed in and it actually came true!!
So here's to finding the little joys in life!

Leaving Texas

So this one is a long time coming, I know, but as you have probably read, it has been an interesting few days. Leaving Texas was a process that took about 4 days. When I left on Wednesday, I felt good (and mom and I didn't even cry that much!! surprising, i know).
Saturday -- I went shopping with Lisa and mom! I got some grownup clothes and this shirt that I thought I wouldn't like, but it ended up matching with everything that I tried on!!!! (this is like that white skirt that laura - at interview weekend said that she wears all of the time). This is probably the last time I will do shopping like that for a long time.
Sunday -- Went to my last service at GUMC for awhile and it was good to say good bye and hear that so many people will be praying for me. The Sunday School class that I attend (my parent's) wants to help me with things. These are people that I know will be there for me whenever I need anything.
I then had part 1 of saying good bye to the Barrera's. I went FISHING!!! with Richie and Chilo, it was fun and very relaxing. and I actually caught 3 catfish, but they had to be thrown back. We ended up taking home 3 Black drum and they did whatever they had to do so they could be put in the freezer for a later date. I had gone over in my church clothes so I had to wear some of richie's old shorts and shoes. I looked like a totally different person.
Monday -- I found out that richie's great aunt died, so I went over there for dinner and saw momo santos and popo joe. It was a fun time and I had to say good bye to richard and becky -- these are people that are at the top of my list of the people that I will miss the most.
Tuesday -- I started packing -- what a process! trying to see what I need until mom and dad come at labor day. That night we went to the middle school and saw Mari's classroom -- it made me miss teaching and having a classroom, but I guess two years is a short time and my own classroom will come soon enough. We then went to Frank's Spaghetti House for my going away dinner. It was good to see the people that I used to work with and eat my favorite food before I left. I got all of my packing done so I wouldn't have to do it in the morning and then got a good night sleep.
WEDNESDAY!
Richie came over at 745 so we could go to breakfast. Now it is so surreal that I am not just a drive away from him. But the breakfast was good and he even offered to pay!! He stayed for awhile until I knew it was time for him to go. And get this...I actually didn't cry -- I guess it was the third time I told him goodbye, and I cried enough the first two times. Then time to the airport. I think wednesday was my day because they checked my luggage all the way through to ontario, even though they said they wouldn't do this when I made the reservations. The family sat outside the security for a little while longer just to say some final goodbyes. Like I said above, actually not many tears. I got through security just in time to get in line to get on the plane. From corpus to Houston and houston to Phoenix I sat all by myself, so I got to spread out (it was nice). When I got off in ontario, I met Andy, who I guess is somewhat a boss of mine. Really nice guy. We went and ate at a mexican food restaurant (different than in texas, but still good).
I am still getting used to living so far away and by myself, but I have a huge support system behind me. I am not a sit back and do nothing type of person, so these few days have been very hard.
But I know it will get better. Like mari said, just say it is going to be good -- my new mantra!

Oh my goodness (this is a bit pessimistic)

So I think almost everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. My placement wasn't ready for me. I can't actually start working until at least the end of next week, but probably closer to the 28th. I don't have internet connection anywhere close to where I live, unless I ask someone to use their work computer (this will hopefully be fixed on monday). I live in what was probably once the employee lounge, so it is in one of the main office buildings and after 530 pm I am alone in this huge building. And really to top it off, my computer started acting up, so like the good girl I am I called the HP service people, not once but twice because of these calls the computer was messed up even more than it was. I finally was able to make recovery discs, but these wiped out everything (and by everything I mean ALL of my documents and my MUSIC!!) I spent 3.5 hours at a clinic for a physical just to give a urine sample, touch my toes, have my ears and throat looked into and have my blood pressure taken (right now it is good, but we will see if these little things keep on happening).
Some good things are that I got a libary card, so I can check out books etc. Most of the people that I have met are very nice and want to help in any way. I have driven around part of the valley and gotten to explore a little bit. The church I went to this morning, even though I probably won't go back there, I found out that the pastor is from Corpus Christi (what a small world). La Verne is very much like Georgetown, so at least it feels like home. I have already found some places that I can get cheap food and friendly service!
I am just ready for my work to start and have been getting very frustrated that no one seems to know what I am supposed to be doing, not just for the next two years, but the next week. I am supposed to be getting my desk on Monday at the school, so I think things will start to look up. I hope that my classmates are having an easier transition time.

I am here!

Sorry this has taken so long. I still don't have internet connection and I am having to use the head secretaries computer, so I will make this short. It is different than I thought it would be, but I will wait to make my final opinions for a little while longer. I do have to say that living "on my own" so far is not hard, other than loneliness at nighttime. This weekend I am going to do some exploring of the community. I will post another time of all my first reactions and the last week at home!

One More Week

So I know I haven't posted in awhile, but since my last post I have been commissioned as a Missionary of the United Methodist Church, had a vacation with the family, returned to Texas and bid farewell to some of the best friends I will ever have.
Saying goodbye to the US-2s was not sad, but actually made me realize that these people I spent a month with, are going to be a part of my life for a long time (longer than the two years of being a US-2). The month of July was amazing. I laughed and cried and learned so much. I now believe that this is the path that my life is supposed to take.
Vacation...I have always thought that when you take vacation, that time is supposed to be relaxing. Vacationing in NYC is not for the new vacationers. However, since this is the last vacation I will have with my family for awhile, I LOVED it. Being able to share NYC with the family for a week was great. Although we didn't do everything that tourists should want to do, we did do things that we wanted to do. And I got great pictures!! But finally it was time to come home for 12 days and amazingly the day spent traveling was not stressful at all.

BACK IN TEXAS
I am glad to be back in Texas and have realized that there are so many people here that I am going to miss, especially people at church. These are the people who have been there for me and my family through everything.
I went to Austin to say goodbye to the girls that were my life in college. Something that I have found interesting since graduating is that you stay in touch with those who you need and want in your life. Those other people, might be in your life for some reason, but those you keep with you will be there for anything. And to those people...thank you and i love you!
Now it is Wednesday the 9th and a week until I get on the plane to La Verne! People keep asking me if I am ready or nervous or excited or any other words to describe how I feel about going to California. And my answer really differs depending on how I am feeling that moment. But like I said before, this is the path that my life is supposed to go. Even though sometimes I might feel like this is not what I want to do, or this is not on my to do list of life. This is on God's to do list for my life and finally I think I have let go of wanting to be in control. Things happen for a reason, even if we don't know that reason. So yes, I am ready and nervous and excited and worried and sad and happy.
Now it is time for me to start separating things that I need in California and things that I don't need. Right now it doesn't seem that different than the past four years of getting ready for college, but I assume that it will start feeling different as I have to start saying goodbye to those who have been in my life for most of it and those who have special places in my heart.

Something interesting, as I type this post, there is a song on the radio, saying that "we keep waiting on the world to change". But I have learned that WE have to make the world change!

This weekend in Austin, I found this magnet that says
peace.
it does not mean to be in a place
where there is not noise, trouble
or hard work. it means to be in
the midst of those things that still
be calm in your heart. (unknown)

This is where I am getting to and where I hope to be in a week, a year, two years.